5 Essential Truths About Therapy in Wisconsin or Illinois
Let’s be honest, there’s a lot of misinformation out there about therapy. Maybe you’ve heard people say that therapy is “too expensive” and “takes forever.” Maybe you’ve heard that therapists just sit back and judge you, label you with some kind of disorder, and then tell you all the things you should do to “fix” it. Or, maybe you’ve heard just the opposite, that therapy is a “miracle.” Or, that therapists are perfect people who have all the answers. But let’s get real, none of this is actually true. The truth is that therapy and therapists are just as complex and multifaceted as other things in life. Nevertheless, there are some basic truths about therapy that can be helpful to keep in mind if you’re thinking about setting up that first appointment.
1. Your Therapist Isn’t There to Judge You
Of course, it’s important that your therapist assess your symptoms and concerns so that - together - you can develop a plan for addressing them. But assessment is not the same as judgment. By contrast, judgment positions one person as superior while the other person is seen as “less than.” A therapist’s role is not to judge you or what you do, how you feel, or how you choose to live your life. Instead, the therapist is there to create a space of safety and unconditional positive regard where you can become more fully yourself. People learn and grow best when they feel safe to explore themselves and new ideas without judgment. A good therapist knows this and works from this framework in every session.
2. Therapy Works Only if You Participate
Sometimes people go to therapy and expect they will be able to sit passively while the therapist performs some magic spell upon them that will make them feel better. But nope, it doesn’t work that way. Therapy only works when you are actively involved in sharing your experiences, thoughts, and feelings. Therapy is an interactive process of conversation and joint problem-solving focused on what is most important to you in your life. Showing up for appointments and participating in the process during sessions is a big part of what makes therapy work, but it’s not the whole picture. Your therapist may also make suggestions about things to try in between sessions that are just as important as what you do in sessions. Thinking about your therapy, completing between-session activities, and being an active partner in the process are all essential components for positive outcomes.
3. You Might Feel Worse Before You Feel Better
When you come into therapy, it’s often because there’s something in your life that’s causing you to suffer. Uncovering what that is and why it’s causing you such distress takes time and effort. The truth is, if there was a magical fix, you would have already found it and used it. You’ve come to therapy because there isn’t an “easy fix.” That’s why, as you engage in your therapy process, you will most likely come nose-to-nose with the roadblocks and detours that have kept you stuck. There will be hard emotions and some sessions where you feel like you aren’t making any progress. But the truth is, this is all a valuable and vital part of the journey. With the help of a skilled therapist, you can make your way through the hard stuff and come out the other side with a new perspective.
4. You’re Always in Control
Therapy is about focusing on what you feel is most important for you, not what your therapist thinks is important. Therapists have professional skills and experience, as well as knowledge about mental health, but they are not experts about you. You are the expert in your own life. A good therapist will partner with you as you seek to better understand yourself, but they will not tell you who you are or what you need. That’s up to you. In practical terms, this means that you determine the focus of your therapy. If there are things you don’t want to discuss, you can let your therapist know what’s off-limits. If you want more of something, or less of something, that’s becoming the focus of sessions, share this with your therapist, too. A good therapist is collaborative and follows your lead.
5. Therapy Takes Time
We each move at our own pace, especially when we’re working on difficult emotions and issues that show up in our lives. Therapy is an individualized process, so it makes sense that there’s no set time period for seeing positive results. Research suggests that therapy can be helpful in as few as 8 - 12 sessions, but there’s also a lot of evidence for more sustainable, long-term outcomes with therapy that lasts 6 - 12 months or more. The length of your therapy will depend upon your goals and the complexity of the issues you bring to the process. A good therapist will always check in with you about your progress and adjust the plan as needed. In the end, however, the goal of therapy is not to keep you in therapy forever, but to help you feel confident about functioning better on your own.
Bottom Line: Therapy is a Brave Investment In Yourself
Therapy is about making an investment in yourself with the goal of improving how you are experiencing your life. The work you and your therapist will do in sessions isn’t always roses and rainbows, but it’s also not always a miserable slog through painful emotions. Therapy is about gaining knowledge, understanding, acceptance, and growth. Its fundamental aim is to allow you to know yourself better, to build on your strengths, and to help you learn some new tools to add to the toolbox.
Therapy also takes courage, because you’re taking a step towards greater awareness and change. Awareness may include things you’d rather not face. Change brings things that are unfamiliar and sometimes uncomfortable. But carving out a safe and sacred space in your life for self-reflection, growth, and insight can make all the difference in gaining a sense of control and direction in your life.
Are You Ready to Make a Brave Investment in YOU?
Reach out and let’s talk. You can give me a call at (920) 944-9700 or schedule a free consultation. I’m happy to help you figure out whether now is the right time for you to give yourself the gift of therapy, or if you’re already doing great managing things on your own. And in the meantime, if you’re looking for help with anxiety, depression, stress & burnout, work-life balance, career transition, or financial wellness, you can read more about how I work with these issues by clicking here.
